Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: The Carnivore of Crime

One of the most dangerous masterminds in the world, with a rap sheet over sixty five million years long. The Carnivore’s villainy has withstood all of evolution’s attempts to wipe him out; though his fellow dinosaurs are fossils, this lizard is the tyrant of the underworld. His underlings, the Filet Minions, are as highly-trained a themed gang as could be found in the civilized world. He was the only major villain in America with no lasting arch-nemesis, on account of his penchant for devouring them. These days his prime targets are vegans, whom he calls the “modern day herbivores.” He has only one exploitable weakness: his peanut-sized brain cannot resist any form of word play.


  1. How's the 1 vegetarian day a week thing going? Looks like you might be missing meat. ;)

  2. Hmmmm, I wonder if there's some context I'm missing. Or maybe I'm just trying to overanalyze it. What a croc. :-P

  3. Oh my god, the Filet Minions. I'm dying, John.


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