Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: The Senator’s Daughter

"That’s worse. If they wanted to kill me? Okay. That happens to senators, especially ones who do things in office. I knew it when I ran, and I certainly knew it the first time I hired someone to open my mail. But my daughter? Guys, I know where I am. That’s comforting, comforting even when I’m afraid for my life. I can decide where I’ll go hide when a gunman arrives, and I’ll see the bodyguards, and I’ll do the running. I don’t know where my daughter is at any given time because we senators made the terrible error to let them have rights. When the gunman comes, I don’t know where she is, or if she’s hiding, or if anyone’s around to help. There is no comfort in her having a number to dial or a routine to follow. All I know is at fourteen she used to steal my cigarettes and smoke them behind the house, and no matter how much I told her not to she’d keep doing it, and I’ll know it incessantly loud the second you tell me she’s been compromised. If I don’t do what you tell me? At least I know I did that. She’s my daughter. I can only worry about her. I’d rather have two people pointing guns at me than one in the same state as her."


  1. Good story. A true horror story. Love 'em or hate 'em in politics, we should all remember the politicians are all human...well, most of 'em anyway. Ok, some... ;-)

  2. Ah politics - was that the voice of a loving father ^_^ I loved listening to it! Good story, made my morning - now I'm off for the day.


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