Okay, if I had to scatter seven sacred relics to prevent some mastermind from collecting them and ruling the world, I wouldn’t stash them in seven really obvious huge dungeons. Firstly, those don’t exist. Secondly, it makes them very easy for him to find. After about the third dungeon this supervillain is bound to realize where the other four are.
The first one goes down the Mariana Trench. It’s the deepest hole in
the known world, under so many atmospheres of water that it would kill
anyone who tried to reach it. In fact, we’ve barely explored the place
with robotics. A tiny crystal star would be darn near impossible to find
in that abyss.
2) Drop one of them into the cement foundation of a
Parliament building, preferably deep into it. You would thus have to
demolish a government building and clear all the rubble just to look for
it, and even then you probably wouldn’t have destroyed the foundations
holding it. We also get free security, as a Parliament building should
have a lot of that lying around.
3) To be a total jerk, I’ll stow one
of them on the next space probe headed for the outer reaches of the
universe. It’s cheap, but considering this explorer pod is headed
further out into space than we’ll probably ever send humans, it will be
really hard to retrieve.
4) In the middle of the arctic storm zones,
where despite global warming there is a constant subzero blizzard with
zero visibility. Preferably we’ll drill a hundred-foot hole in the ice
and drop it down there, then cover it up. Within minutes you’ll have no
idea where we drilled the hole in all the hundreds of miles of
5) In classic Lord of the Rings fashion, we’ll
drop one into the mouth of an active volcano. True, the indestructible
relic won’t combust like Sauron’s jewelry, but hopefully it will sink a
miles under the surface of the earth, cradled in boiling lava. Most
volcanoes don’t erupt like a geyser, but spit up and drool down the
slopes. However this hot lava will be lighter and flow easier than the
relic, so it will be more likely to sink while the lava rises. If the
sucker ever erupts so badly that the relic is coughed up, it will be
hidden in the cooling magma, and even we won’t know where it is.
Drop the sixth into the deepest stretch of the wide Yangtze in China, a
river so horribly polluted that humans won’t enter it, and all the
wildlife has either died out or mutated. We’ll weight this relic down in
a tungsten container that will be too thick to fully corrode, and dig
into the riverbed. Maybe we’ll even attached a self-propelling drill to
the bottom so that it can dig a huge hole behind it. With a few days of
current you won’t be able to see where it went down. That is, if you
could see in the Yangtze.
7) One I’m just going to bury somewhere. It
will be a chaotically chosen spot of no importance. Not a national park
or a wonder of the world. I’m just going to bury out in the middle of
In the mean time, let’s go build some huge dungeons as
decoys. Perhaps one can have an exact replica of one of the relics to
fool the bastard.