Thursday, June 28, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: SmartShop Shoppers

Welcome SmartShop shoppers.

You already rely on SmartShop for the products your family needs.

No one beats our produce, and we’ve got all the fashion to keep you cool this summer.

But did you know there are now even more ways to save at SmartShop? We’ve slashed the everyday prices on over four hundred brands your family loves.

So why not spend more? Why not spend all your money at SmartShop?

Your kids will stop loving you if you don’t bring home Dark Berry Mountain Dew.

What do you need that money for, anyway?

You need food. You need clothing. You need a trendy car-mount for your cellphone.

You’re a modern person with modern person needs.

Modern people don’t need money.

Did you know ten out of ten modern people die? You can look it up on the internet.

Try our free WiFi station by the SmartShop Service Desk.

You can’t keep your money when you die. You can look it up on the internet.

If you died today, wouldn’t you want your kids to have all the food, clothing and Dark Berry Mountain Dew they deserved?

It’s something to think about. SmartShop recommends you think about it while you browse our newly extended Used Movies Aisle.

And thank you for being a SmartShop shopper.


  1. I used to tannoy the announcements when I worked at Sainsbury's... But never quite like this.

  2. Modern people die! I thought we'd evolved past that!


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