Sunday, July 8, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: Spider-Manologue


“People say I’m just spider-powers and a pretty face I keep behind a mask, but I’ve got more to offer. Did you know I was a teenager when I developed a fluid that was stronger than steel? Also wrist-mounted squirt gun that could spray that fluid several hundred yards in a splitsecond. For the work of a teen, it’s surprising I wasn’t picked up by Super Soaker, right? But don’t stop there. In my garage, I made a costume thin enough that I could cling to walls through it while supportive enough that I don’t freeze my butt off on top of skyscrapers. This is a tall one, by the way. If the webbing gives and you fall, you might be dead before I can catch you. That happens sometimes. Before I could even get a learner’s permit to drive, I’d built homing devices, broken into Fantastic Four Plaza, and… well, I caught you. So I guess the radioactive spider that bit me as a teen was pretty smart, or criminals are getting a lot dumber. So what I’m saying is: I could make this a very long night for you, or you could just tell me where the old lady is.”

7 comments:

  1. Snort! (Tell me where the old lady is..)

    Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? Reviews I've read have pegged it pretty good.

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    Replies
    1. Haven't yet, but have some morbid interest. Probably one of those things destined for Netflix at my household.

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  2. He he! I had a chemistry set when I was a teenager, but all I ever made was a mess.

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  3. Oh that's a wicked web you weave sir!

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  4. Ohh. I am a fan of spiderman. I liked the new movie, too. Better than the last one.

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    Replies
    1. Better than Spider-Man 3? Not the highest bar to clear...

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  5. I love Spider-man but the whole teen science whiz bolt on is harder to believe than his spider powers now that you draw my attention to it. *narrow eyes*

    And did we have to mention Spider-Man 3? The less said there the better.

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