Sunday, October 28, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: The Dark Man, Interrupted

“The Dark Man rose from the roiling ocean. Seaweed dangled from his many ears, and in his left hand he clutched a suffocating fish. All The Dark Man looked upon was grim--

“No, I don’t mean he was black. If he was black, I’d say he was black. The color of his skin doesn’t even matter. The guy has a bunch of ears. Listen.

“For you see, The Dark Man ruined the ground beneath his feet. It was tainted, soured, and all civilization within the reach of the sound of his footfalls trem--

“He was not Hispanic! His darkness has nothing to do with ethnicity. This is clearly a spiritual darkness.

“When the men of the world at last drew courage to confront The Dark Man, he raised his heinous gaze, and it fell upon their works, and their works--

“It is not like Black Comedy. He is neither ‘dark’ as in African nor ‘dark’ as in Coen Brothers comedy. It’s ‘dark’ as in Satanic! You know what?

“The Dark Man walked back into the ocean and never came back. Nobody knew why he came out. The end.

“Oh. Oh, you liked the ending? Well… thank you. I thought it was clever, too.”


  1. Thanks for the morning giggles. I totally see this happening at my house.


  2. Hark! The death knell of an artist's intention, perished under the stampede of audience interpretation.

    The ending WAS clever, guy. You're sure to go down in history.

  3. Sheesh, you mean there are still some people out there who don't know Lovecraft and related mythos?

    Excellent commentary on the (seemingly) growing trend to fixate on a character's ethnic background instead of, you know, how they are as a character. Sort of an unholy marriage of racism and political correctness. And no, I'm not commenting on the various marriage laws that have been in the news lately...

    But I do want to hear about why an ocean (demi-) god had so many ears!

  4. Ha ha thanks for the laugh John! Very funny - great dialogue!

  5. If his many ears could hear the dreadful questions of course he went back into the sea. Quickly. Forever.


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