Riverbrook never had a station before so they had to improvise as it
went along. They used confident bidders, domestic steel and concrete to
erect a long platform. They screened all their conductors thoroughly,
even though the railway provided them. They made the right deals with
Amtrak and some stations to the north to assure reliable service.
And
then on opening day a little boy leaned over the platform to watch the
train come. His mother was preoccupied with The Brief and Wondrous Life
of Oscar Wao. The boy did not pull back soon enough – which is to say,
he didn’t pull back at all. It was a miracle he wasn’t killed. He was
thrown thirty yards and was distinctly unaware of any miracles when he
landed in poison sumac.
It was a horrible thing for Riverbrook.
They apologized, made settlements and cleaned. They mourned, even though
the boy was alive and from out of town.
Riverbrook put down bumpy yellow plastic to guide people away from the edge of the platform thereafter.
Plenty
of people came to take the next train. They had lives. They rushed
aboard, and teenage vacationer fell in the gap between the platform and
the door. It took half an hour to get her leg free.
They wrote
along the yellow bumpy plastic for people to “MIND THE GAP.” The station
manager announced the same for the PA before every train.
Apparently
this one girl from Florida missed the message and didn’t hear him. She
was busy on her cell. She explained such as the station crew pried her
knee from the gap.
So for the next day the station manager
wandered the platform, explaining that some people had troubles boarding
and to be very careful. Elderly patrons appreciated the attention, but
some of the younger ones thought he was crazy and disregarded the
message. One of them was threatening to sue twenty minutes later when he
fell in all the way to the waist.
So the station manager and
every free person on staff wandered the platform afterwards, making
certain every single person had a thorough lecture on how to board a
train. No one was allowed to board before they had all been lectured. It
held up the rail schedule terribly. It also took so long that people
who had been lectured grew impatient, missed some crucial step in the
instructions, and three people stumbled into the gap that afternoon.
Conductors
were ordered to carry everyone onto the train, as passengers clearly
couldn’t be trusted with this kind of responsibility. But as Wesley
Morgan carried his third passenger on board his back went out and he
staggered backwards through the door. You can guess where his left foot
went. He was the most pleasant of the gap-victims, though; he was
looking forward to suing someone, and possibly retiring early.
The
Riverbrook Station saw so many accidents that they were still unsafe by
the time particle teleporters were introduced. The station manager
happily handed over the keys to a physicist. He babbled warnings about
queuing order how a size ten shoe can pass through a three inch space.
The physicist shrugged him off and invited his first passenger. That was
the first time any teleporter commuter ever lost a foot.
Yup, no legislating against idiocy, nor any safety measure that can't fail if the users don't take care.
ReplyDeleteAh you can tell the people, but will they listen eh! Mind the gap!
ReplyDeletefootloose and fancy free would-be travellers become simply foot-free
ReplyDeletecharming was the word for this small town tale
marc nash
I love the idea of being carried onto the train for my own safety. It worries me that in this world teleporting would quickly become a very dull process.
ReplyDeleteDamn the luck. I don't know how many times I've kicked off my shoes in an airport and fantasized about the old Star Trek transpoter. Wouldn't you know when it is finally introduced, it only transports passengers from the platform onto a train and they still end up minus a shoe. Funny reality check.
ReplyDeleteI vote to remove all health and safety signs and leave it to natural selection!
ReplyDeleteThird hand claim to fame: the voice of of the "Mind the gap" recording on the London Underground belongs to a friend of a friend of mine
Yep, I have personal experience that those teenagers that never listen and I'm certain, (if we lived in a town with such transport), my 14 year old would lose a foot. :)
ReplyDeleteThis had me chuckling throughout. Quick fix: in the second paragraph you have "pulled" where I think you meant "Pull" as in "He didn't pull back at all".
ReplyDeleteI could totally buy this happening. It's future history. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteSo true to life it hurts to read.
ReplyDeleteThis is so good! Your writing is getting better and better. This is a great piece.
ReplyDeleteHealth and Safety gone crazy...but it's not far from the truth. I have to show trainers at work that I know how to remove a meal tray from a trolly and present it without damaging my back. I have to do this every year, forever.
ReplyDeleteI like the line about carrying people on board; it's understated in its irony.
Thanks for the comments on free writing you left over at my blog.
This is truth is stranger than fiction, right...?
ReplyDeleteSafety first! You'd think they could throw some sort of temporary bridge over the gap, huh? I absolutely loved the part about "[he was] distinctly unaware of any miracles when he landed in poison sumac."
ReplyDeleteConsidering my dad's a retired train Conductor I quite enjoyed this. Funny how some things will never change.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. I once jumped from a pick up to a concrete platform and landed flat on my face. Sometimes things just happen :p.
ReplyDeletehaha!! I know this is fiction.. sort of, as the saying goes "You couldn't make it up, could you?" :-)
ReplyDeleteSo true it's scary. :)
ReplyDeleteLove the visual of conductors having to carry everyone on board. (Although I don't think I'd trust any of our local fellows.)
ReplyDeleteJohn this is brilliant - some people just think they are different to the rest and theres no telling them, then Karma (or stupidity!) just bites them on the behind...Great piece, I loved it
ReplyDeletePerfectly sums up Health & Safety!
ReplyDeleteStupidity prolongs throughout the ages no matter what. Yup.
ReplyDeleteGreat portrayal of situations so possible.
So it seems that future travel is wrought with the same perils as modern day travel? Namely, ourselves?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant work, John!