Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Bathroom Monologue: God of ____, Redux
Ares was the god of war, Aphrodite was the goddess of love, but Apollo
was the asshole god who wanted to take seventeen majors in college.
Apollo was a very presumptuous god. He was a sun god, even though Helios
already did the sun and Zeus did the sky. He was a medicine god, but
also a bringer of plagues. He was both a war and sports god, making him a
professional and hobbyist ass-kicker. He was the patron deity of
shepherds and colonists, making him both God of Protecting Your Stuff
and God of Taking Your Stuff. His oracles at Delphi were the most
reliable and salient, making him a knowledge god, and from there he
became more powerful than the muses at inspiring music and poetry,
making him an arts god. And we can't forget that he was randy, though
that was more a "god" thing than an "god of" thing. The gods were
fucking nuts. And by "fucking nuts" I don't mean "crazy;" I mean if they
found a cashew arousing, they'd turn into an ox and find a way to
penetrate it.
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Apollo is the kind of character players create if the GM doesn't keep a firm hold of them.
ReplyDeleteApollo was also the scapegoat for many out of wedlock pregnancies, of course. I'm sure Zeus was torn between elevating him out of the way and worrying about his own position....
ReplyDelete"And we can't forget that we was randy..."
ReplyDeleteDid he speak through you there for a moment? :-)
I thought this one was great fun -- in the Greek pantheon, the gods are assholes some of the time, and I've always admired how the Greeks just d seemed to accept it as yet another facet of the universe.
I think those of us who believe in god(s) should bear in mind just how crazy they can be - when they are not being out and out malevolent.
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