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| The gentler sex - charity for the drunken brother, contempt for the unfortunate sister via Library of Congress |
Are you sex-positive? No, because no one is, though many
people think they are.
It sounds fun and liberating and progressive, as many mirages
do. According to a preposterously trusted source, “The sex-positive movement is an ideology
which promotes and embraces open sexuality with few limits beyond an emphasis
on safe sex and the importance of informed consent.”
I learned of the movement this morning, and having skimmed a
Wikipedia article, now know everything about it. That is why I regret to inform
you that all sex-positive thought is a sham. You may ask, “Why? Surely boinking
with informed consent is great and gooey.”
Gooey though it be, it makes everyone a rape victim. Everyone
in the world started out a virgin, and virgins don’t actually know what sex is
like until they’ve done it. Therefore every first time has been under
uninformed consent, and every sex-positive sexer who kept doing it afterward
was merely burying the trauma. It’s not informed consent. It’s Stockholm
Syndrome with lube.
From this day forward I shall be sex-negative, which I now
need to make up and adhere to with unwavering virility, and consent to no other
ideology. Stand beside me, brothers and sisters. If you want to. If you know
what standing beside me is like before you do it.
Oh. No arguments here. Sadly.
ReplyDeleteIt's too late for me to be sex negative.
ReplyDeleteSeeing as you are now the unchallengeable expert on Sex-negative, I must ask if you’ve written the wikipedia article yet? I’d be happy to make up some references for you!
ReplyDelete