Tuesday, April 2, 2013

‘B’ is for ‘Bacteria.’



‘B’ is for ‘Bacteria.’

If there are only two life forms left on the planet, one of them will be bacteria, living off of the other. There will never be only one life form left, because virii and bacteria are brilliant at finding a host and sticking things out. It’s believed that the first apocalypse was probably a massive disease, because all the world needed was a population, and some bacteria. Since then bacteria has caused numerous additional apocalypses, being the only scientifically plausible explanation for the rise of zombies, and later vampiria and tentacalia. Zombieism is just a bacterial reaction, after all. One hundred percent normal, scientific, perfectly magical bacteria.

It’s unsurprising that bacteria were the first magicians. They did almost everything else first, and once they got a little magical potential, their hosts lived longer, hosted them longer, and spread them farther. Imps have the highest magical potential because their uniquely screwed up physiology allows for so many simultaneous magical infections. Just as bacteria evolved to assist digestion and boost height, it thrived in hosts where its magic could do the most good.

It’s unknown if bacteria have ever suffered their own apocalypse. Perhaps some day all diseases may disappear in one great catastrophe. If so, though, it’ll be a problem for more than just the common cold.

Tomorrow: ‘C’ is for ‘Cartography.’

32 comments:

  1. And here I thought tomorrow was going to be C for Catastrophe!

    Love the idea of bacteria being responsible for magic.

    Rinelle Grey

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    1. Well, I have to try to branch out a wee bit...

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    2. I was thinking the same thing! C for Catastrophe!

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  2. Argh, you're...giving.. me.... more .... story ... ideas! Stop it! I can't cope with the number in the queue right now. Lol!

    Seriously, a great topic. Loved it!

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    1. Thank you, Lisa! And sorry for any inspiration I caused.

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  3. I suppose I am foolhardy in thinking I am able to control bacteria. Surely it will get me in the end but for right now I have in my kitchen, 6 jugs of apple juice fermenting into hard cider and a crock containing a starter for raising bread that is over 10 years old.

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    1. They're just being polite to you, Harry. On their microscopic cars they all have CO-EXIST bumperstickers.

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  4. It's their world... we just live in it.

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  5. Hey! Thank you for your comment! Free Nordic education is what I'm here for ;)

    Well, this was a cheerful post. Thanks for making me aware of something I've not been concerned over before... At least I don't watch the Walking Dead under ANY circumstances so can read about Zombies and just think 'la la laa, not real, no stored up imaginary story-lines ready and waiting for me to have nightmares' :)

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    1. You know, I don't think I've ever suffered from a zombie nightmare. Haunted cities and outbreaks of raptors, yes, but not the undead. Jason Voorhees has showed up a few times, though he and I seem to get along a little.

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  6. Bacteria is awful stuff, except (of course) for the ones that pay for our hosting them. E.coli in the intestines help digest our food, for example, although they can play all sorts of hell if they get anywhere else.

    It was probably a hell of a war in the distant past, until the proto-humans and proto-E.coli finally reached an agreement. I've said for a long time, a parasite is applying for a job as a symbiote.

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    1. I referenced their help in digestion in the post. Bacteria do an amazing number of things to their hosts, including boosting or retarding cognition and physical growth. I've been reading some papers suggesting that the correct balance of bacteria could cause the next generation of Asians to be several inches taller.

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  7. Have you read Partials? Really well done dystopian where everyone is wiped out through disease. Your post just reminded me of that :)

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    1. I've read several novels about epidemics and/or disease wiping everyone out - that was part of why I had to parody it a little. What stands out to you about Partials?

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    2. The disease doesn't just wipe everyone out, it makes it so they can't procreate. The only cure lies with 'robots' or Partials who were designed to kill and hate the humans. It's an amazing book :)

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  8. There is a good bacteria and the bad bacteria, which one will survive?

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  9. And this is the exact argument that spawned 90% of current zombies, vampires and mosters in media.

    Also, "normal, scientific, perfectly magical bacteria"- just a brilliant little line.

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    1. I admit that coming up with this line is what convinced me to devoted the B-day to Bacteria. They are such funny little critters.

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  10. Excellent and fascinating post and blog. I'll be looking forward to more of your world's history.

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  11. Bacteria and cockroaches will be all that's left, most likely.

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    1. Always cockroaches...and ants. Why won't they die? I can take bacteria...but the armored plated insects creep me out.

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    2. And now they fly...when did this happen? Have they always been able to fly and I am just noticing now? YUCK one more creepy crawly to worry about.

      Deena of E-BookBuilders

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  12. What a terrific post for AtoZ...magical bacteria, who would have thought?

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  13. One of my worst nightmares! And coupled with your blog title... I think I'll go wash my hands now. ;)

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  14. Reminds me a lot of the movie version of War of the Worlds. So many people are germaphobes, but I think "germs" are good for us. they help keep us healthy and strong! Interesting post.

    I'm a new follower via the A2Z.

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  15. Ha! I think the other would probably be real bugs. You reckon? Good post. Best regards to you. Ruby.

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  16. While it might sound good on the surface to think of a world free of all diseases, there's also something a bit dystopian to think that the world might evolve that way. While I think it'd be nice to say good-bye to diseases and viruses/bacteria that can cause fatal illnesses, I think having some benign germs around gives our immune systems something to fight. Otherwise, the bored immune system might start picking fights with harmless things in the environment. And let's say germs disappear for 100 years, and then they make a comeback. I wonder if the general public's immune systems would be strong enough to fight off a simple illness if their immune systems haven't had practice fighting in awhile. So those are my random ramblings...hope they make some sense.

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  17. Love this! (And your "A" entry as well). Will be coming back for more!!

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  18. I plan to spend the day trying to get my bacteria to perform its magic.

    (I'm enjoying this theme, BTW.)

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