Tuesday, April 9, 2013

‘H’ is for ‘Humans.’



‘H’ is for ‘Humans.’

Artist's rendering.
A historically underachieving species, they were widely regarded as a knock-off of the triclopes. As opposed to the triclopes, they have only two eyes, possess weak senses of taste and smell, have particularly weak hide and muscle tissue, heal very slowly or not at all, gestate for less than a year. People who use economic trends to study the world cannot fathom how cyclopes can be so enormous and durable when, eye-wise, they ought to be the next step down from biclopic humans. People who use economic trends to study the world and phrase things more sensitively believe humans achieved their modern dominance by gestating so quickly, thus flooding the market with their brand.

After imps managed to conquer the known world, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that humans could. The bar for domination was low enough, and they were a hungry enough species to try science again. Most species thought, given that science had literally eaten the Gremlin Empire alive, it was a bad idea. Humans considered that a very interesting philosophical point that they’d think over after using science to conquer everything. It’s worked out well so far.

It’s an unwritten rule of many universes that humans make great protagonists. It’s unknown as to why, but humans are prone to heroism, if for no other reason than because if another species did it instead then humans couldn’t be the center of attention, and that’s unacceptable in fiction. Humans are even the protagonists in most Godzilla movies, to the chagrin of everyone who enjoys Godzilla movies.

I enjoy Godzilla movies. I named two species after his nemeses.

29 comments:

  1. Nice one. And the flooded market rings too true.

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  2. Humans - i can't see them lasting.

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  3. Humans arrogantly believe they do not need to learn from the mistakes of their own past let alone any who have gone before; their continued survival is a mystery. They seem determined to persist with infighting and related culls these involve. Strange.

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  4. There is a sense of a need for a hero among us, isn't there?

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  5. Love the fact that humans breed fast, especially because it's true. (Comparatively speaking.)

    So are humans currently the dominant species, or has another appocalypse wiped them out?

    Rinelle Grey

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    1. We're in the midst of the Human Age now, and they're the dominant species out east. It is about time for another apocalypse, though...

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  6. You named a species "Monster X"?

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  7. Those dang humans, so weak and yet with a certian appeal. And why wouldn't they be the stars of a Godzilla movie? lol :)

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    1. Well, historically we stack up poorly. Only Charles Barkley is a proper match for the King of the Monsters.

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  8. Really enjoying your "theme" for this challenge! I couldn't think of a theme that I could stick to... maybe next year, I've seen some great ones.

    "The bar for domination was low enough, and they were a hungry enough species to try science again. Most species thought, given that science had literally eaten the Gremlin Empire alive, it was a bad idea. Humans considered that a very interesting philosophical point that they’d think over after using science to conquer everything. It’s worked out well so far."
    -This particular paragraph made me chuckle :) thanks!

    Hope you and your family are all feeling better soon!

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    1. Thank you for the well wishes! And I'm very happy my world building gave you a laugh. That's a good purpose.

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  9. I remember a drawing entitled "After the Demise of Humanity - Resurgence of Dinosauria" where a dino-lecturer held up a human skull and said, "Its teeth were blunt, jaws puny, and it remains a wonder as to how the creature ever procured food."

    Loved the part about "flooding the market with their brand." Reminds me of the preacher who said the only commandment we've obeyed to excess was "be fruitful and multiply." :-D This continues to be great stuff!

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    1. That preacher would be right at home here. Well, except that the Empire outlawed religion. Technicalities.

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  10. (Comment went funny on me. Sorry about the delete)

    One of my motorcycles is named Godzilla and bears the name on the plate. I like him, more than most humans.

    KaTy Did at Life's Ride As I See It

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  11. Those darn humans need so much attention, don't they? I kinda like 'em.

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  12. I think humans like to give themselves as much positive press as they can.

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  13. I love that in this world they're fighting for dominance with other races and will ( I can only assume) be put back in their lowly place in the next apocalypse.

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  14. Humans do like to be the center of attention.
    I like Godzilla movies as well.
    And The Devil's Backbone was a brilliant film.

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    1. This feels so close to a haiku that it brings a tear to my eye.

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  15. I like the thoughts you have expressed in this post. Humans are so poor when it comes to general behaviour, the only reason to explain their dominance must be because other species couldn't be bothered to exercise control. Or as you say it, because fiction demands heroic humans. ANd of course, fiction is written by humans.
    Cynthia Rodrigues Manchekar at Cynthology

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    1. It'll be interesting to chart the distortion of biases when computer programs start writing stories for us.

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  16. Silly humans...science is for kids.

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  17. I have all the Godzilla movies on DVD. When people make fun of me for liking such low brow entertainment, I always remind them that I respect their religion, so they should respect mine. ;)

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  18. So funny! Poor humans. Ridiculously pitiful beasts, yet they insist on constantly being the center of attention. Just what are we going to do with them?

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  19. Silly, vain humans - why must they always be the center of attention?


    Also, I think there is a word missing in this sentence: People who economic trends to study the world and phrase things more sensitively believe humans achieved their modern dominance by gestating so quickly, thus flooding the market with their brand.

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  20. "A historically underachieving species..." - Ha! I love that!

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