Tuesday, June 11, 2013

True Stories of John: Tree Gunner

A few weeks ago Myke Cole ran a polite little contest. In order to teach people the trigger discipline that gunners so seldom display in movies and television, he picked up an umbrella and showed it. Your finger ought to be above the guard, and if there's a stock, it should go in the crease or pit of your arm.
Myke Cole. Three tours in Iraq, one tour of the laundry room.
Cole then invited anyone who take up any object around their house and demonstrate such caution. Any object other than a gun. I enjoyed his lesson so much that I went outside to practice.

But my first choice didn't feel ambitious enough. Anyone can aim a sapling.

Better, but in the words of one of my role models, not more better enough.

This one actually leaked a sap onto me that gave me a nasty allergic reaction. Cole did not warn me that fire arms leak sap from so little agitation. But with one hand swelling to a size a writer ought to care more about, I discovered my masterpiece.

Ladies and gentlemen: you can plainly see that my finger is above the guard. It was the best day on a firing range I'd ever had.


  1. How remiss of Myke Cole not to have warned you about the dangers of sap. It does make me have more respect for sap-sucking insects though...

  2. How many squirrels did you take out?

  3. bwahahahahaha!

    When we moved to the Southern half of the country we became acquainted with quite a few gun-enthusiasts. This changed my television watching forever. (Mind, my favorite shows are either sci-fi or crime-shows). I now notice when they hold a gun improperly, fire a gun improperly, and call it a "silencer" instead of a "suppressor" or a "clip" rather than the more correct, "magazine" (unless it's a gun in which "clip" is actually correct).

    It used to be the only thing that drove me nuts in a tv show was when the actors would mispronounce the word "nuclear."


    Hope the allergic reaction subsided quickly.

  4. This is really interesting! I've never shot at anything, but it's really cool that there are people out there exercising caution.


  5. You're genius! Every time I see one of your posts I'm more and more convinced of this!

  6. Boy, did I need the smile this gave me. Thanks, John!


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