Due to the sequester, local governments will not be providing any assistance or clean-up related to such massacres.
For non-physical entities who cannot rise from the crypt or claw their way into reality for vengeance by October 30th, there is an additional grace period extending to November 28th. Applicants must have at least two signed evaluations from the government-recognized Spiritualists and Theologians List in order to qualify for the grace period. The government apologizes for the grace period closing on November 28th, but we need those department stores unhaunted for Black Friday.
To our citizens of fleshy substance, remember:
- Practice respectful rites!
- Make good on your pacts!
- Avoid unnecessary transgressions against the memories of the arcane!
- Get a costume together for the Halloween Parade of Relief on the 31st! We sure hope to see you there!
This kind of reminds me of that movie, The Purge (which I never saw because I'm a horror wuss.)
ReplyDeleteOh dear. It is the morning of the twenty-eighth here and I am wondering what I could have/should have done.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha! Where's the Parade of Relief? I think I might need some...
ReplyDelete