Gravity was a good god, and that was his downfall. He always did his
job, pulling things down or together, and did so with such reliability
that humans could measure him. How Loki laughed at the idea of a god
with such low self-esteem that he let himself be measured. But Gravity
broke none of the rules: humans still couldn’t see him or talk to him
directly, and he never tampered with someone else’s domain. Loki never
had to fear Gravity playing tricks.
The problem came, then, that
humans didn’t fear him like they did Loki or Zeus, and they certainly
didn’t revere him as they had the sun or that Jesus kid. They made
planes, helicopters and went to the moon without so much a prayer –
except the typical calculations for landing and such. Even when he did
something nasty it was always the suicidal prick that jumped off the
bridge that got the credit, not Gravity for providing the very force
that enabled the tragedy.
The rise of scientific thought only
insulted him further as people believed less in his friends, but never
even bothered to question his existence. He wasn’t even part of the
cultural debate. One year Carl Sagan, of whom Gravity had always been
very supportive, actually mocked theology by saying no one prayed to
gravity. Then one morning Gravity picked up Scientific American (well,
not “picked up” – he never picked anything up that he didn’t have to)
and saw some theorist asking why gravity was so weak in this universe.
“So weak.”
Gravity
snapped and finally took old Loki’s advice. They’d regret not
appreciating him. They’d regret it when gravity ignored them, and they
learned the terror of floating.
We'd all just float away then...
ReplyDeleteNo doubt, in the end, Gravity would prove to be the most powerful of all the gods. Good story!
ReplyDeletelol, never anger a god with self-esteem issues!
ReplyDeleteHow low can you get? How about a limbo dancing dacshund? Very good story, BTW.
ReplyDeleteWhat gravity lacks in strength, it makes up for in reach. As a fundamental force of the universe, gravity is like parental guilt: overwhelming up close, weakens with distance, but you can never really escape it.
ReplyDeleteSuper first line and outstanding, and chilling, last line John, (and great ones in between too). I enjoyed this one very much.
ReplyDeleteOuch. Says someone who respects gravity and feels his weight all too often.
ReplyDeleteIgnore gravity - not me I'm keeping my feet firmly on the ground ^_^ with the help of gravity of course! Good story!
ReplyDeleteThat had a sinister ending. MUHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteThat'll show 'em. See how they like it when you're not around to help out. There are so many applications to this story, John, it makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteOh well, I guess we'll all be going up in the world. :)
ReplyDeleteA great personification of gravity John, although by saying that I am sure that will just piss Gravity off.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, I've always said Gods are funny like this when they screw us over somehow, without our knowledge, but I think when Gravity decides to leave we'll surely get the idea and quick. I really liked the story, John!
ReplyDeleteHey, he had a whole movie named after him!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that Modest Mouse song. We should all appreciate gravity.
ReplyDeleteGravity should read HG Wells' "The Man Who Could Work Miracles" to cheer itself up. Or else some physics papers about how matter wouldn't exist in 3D without it.
ReplyDeleteThe most fun part of this for me was the idea of Gravity being a god in a Norse mythic universe.
A great story, very funny and original. We all float down here!
ReplyDelete