2. The volcano was not actually dormant.
3. The real Salvador Dali had three pet ocelots that he
trained to alert him when the volcano was waking.
4. There were actually four ocelots, but the fourth ocelot
oscillated between our plane and a more fruited one, and so could not be
counted in my father's census.
5. A Salvador
Dali was a founder of the Census of Dark Artists and recruited my father for a
living wage.
6. A Salvador
Dali's "Persistence of Memory" was a self-portrait, done of a self
from a parallel plane of existence where he had more ambition.
7. A Salvador
Dali drowned this parallel self in a vat of unused cooking oil.
8. The real Salvador Dali collected vats of unused cooking
oil to preserve their unuse.
9 & 10. The real Salvador Dali did not spend his final
years in Spain;
a body double did, and spent its final years there securing vats of unused
cooking oil.
11 &12. The real Salvador Dali did not flee the Spanish
Civil War; his body double did. The real Salvador Dali painted the Spanish
Civil War into existence and could not flee until 1939, when he finished it.
13. A second body double still operates for a living wage.
14. A body double of Andre Breton continues to persecute
this hypothetical second body double of Salvador Dali to this day.
15. A body double of Andre Breton cannot sufficiently slay
the hypothetical second body double of Salvador Dali because it fears
volcanoes.
