Bathroom Monologue: Noun Challenge Recipes

“We’re talking 100% lean horse. Our distributors get them right from the Kentucky Derby, off of the latest mares to come in unsatisfactory place. We only serve the highest sports-grade horse. We marinate them in our special blend of sea salts, ground Hawaiian pumice and an extract from cougar livers that gets it at the perfect tenderness and evokes the natural equine flavor. This is nothing like what those jokers down the street are selling. You know, McDonalds actually owns that franchise. I bet even their pony is low-grade.”