Bathroom Monologue: I wish my professor would say…

"I'll tell you, I love Orcs. Freaking stupid, angry, militaristic, cannibalistic sociopaths who roam in packs of hundreds just to get to the refrigerator; to storm the refrigerator, to defeat and humiliate the refrigerator; to plunder and ravish it until it doesn't have the will for the little light to go on, whether the door is open or shut; and then to get bored and go back to watching TV, in their contented packs of hundreds of thousands of millions. When the rest of the civilized world was either mounting pathetic defense efforts in their Deeps or boarding ships to the West when Sauron made his comeback, all the Orcs of the continent needed was a heads-up. Sauron was going to take over the world? Hell no he wasn't, not if there were hundreds of thousands of millions of Orcs running around. Sure, thousands died in the invasion, but in the end, no amount of power One or a Hundred Rings gave to the Dark Lord could overcome sheer, vile numbers. Their army did the military equivalent of sitting on Mordor. Consider your world saved, you know, as soon as the Orcs got bored of sightseeing around the fire mountains and went home."