Bathroom Monologue: Ayouism

"Atheism has opened up a whole new worldview for me, but no, it’s not atheism. It's denial. I love it. When I really don't like someone, I'll just stop believing in them. I've already stopped believing in a lot of atheists, and a lot of religious assholes. Not their gods. Just them. Jesus Christ lived, but if you ask me, the 700 Club is a total hoax. And the I.R.S.! I was so sick of owing them money every April. But now? I'm not paying tithes to an imaginary institution. Supposedly your taxes pay for all the government projects, but I've had a pothole in front of my house for fifteen years and the road service never filled it up no matter how much I prayed to the Transportation Bureau. I thought they were lazy, but now I get it. They're not lazy. They're just not there."