Bathroom Monologue: Eventually, you get to do a 'Long Ago'

Long ago, when the Ogres still had some wisdom, they bowed to the wind. The lord of the wind was Kierneg, and he rewarded their worship with music. He invented many instruments for them, like the horn, the bagpipes and the tuba. They were mostly ostentatious instruments, but they were invented by a god, after all. There was one instrument in the horde of gifts that only Kierneg could play: the wind chimes. The Ogres learned how to make them and make them right, but no one made them sing like he. Its songs came when he passed through, telling the Ogres when there god was near, and nary much more than a day went by before he rode through, wiggling his invisible fingers over the wind chimes and tinkling out a melody. Sometimes it was a sweet tune; on others, it was frantic and warned of storms. The Ogres knew what every song meant, feared none, and cherished all -- until their intellect waned. The wind has never left us, though.