Thursday, January 24, 2008

Bathroom Monologue: C Your Way Out

Today's lesson is the A-B argument. It's very popular in places where its being popular would be dangerous. What's an A-B argument? Are videogames dangerous or not? Either A) videogames are dangerous, or B) they are not dangerous. This frame of argument does not allow for Grand Theft Auto 4 to be a potential negative influence on developing children, while Mario Paint and Spore may encourage creativity. There are no third answers. No fifth answers. No ninetieth.

The A-B argument is very handy if you're sure you're right, or if you can benefit from being right. You simply make "A" your belief, and find one other belief to be "B." Now either all Hispanics are lazy and just want to leech Welfare, or you're a racist bastard.

Once A and B are accepted by people who weren't paying attention, all you have to do is discredit, slander and defame "B" in order to be right. There's no mucking around in the murky grey area. There are only two dimensions of argument left in your three dimensional world.

The A-B argument has been popularized worldwide as being part of straight talk; if someone asks "Is Islam the religion of terror?" and you say, "Well, I've met some very nice Muslims, but obviously some terrorists founded their beliefs on the Qur'an," you're a double-talking bastard who cannot be trusted and must be silenced as rudely as possible. Otherwise, you'll be detrimental to the monochrome rainbow that is life in ignorance. It's got to be Conservatives or Liberals. TV or movies. Prose or poetry. Freedom or fascism. And it doesn't have to be kept this way to prevent people from thinking; it's got to be this way so the people making money off of A and B stay rich. Oops. Was that an A-B argument? Yes or no?

1 comment:

  1. How many times can I leave the comment: very well said.
    It's true though.


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