Bathroom Monologue: Anti-Deerism

The life of a settler was hard. Even small discoveries skewed your life. Those berries were poisonous on this continent! And the wildlife? “Holy crap, it’s a small horse with branches coming out of its head! Did a tree rape a pony?” Yeah, to us they’re deer, but to the settler who’d never seen them before, they were the army of the Anti-Christ. And they were eating his tulips.