Sunday, May 3, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: Admiring Gruff’s rifle

[Three of them sit at the bar. Well, two are sitting. PLUTO, in miniature form, floats above the left-most bar stool. DARKLOSS SOULRIPPER VON ALUCARDIA sits on the right-most bar stool, in a cloak so massive we can’t even be sure it’s him, since we’re looking from behind. In the middle sits GRUFF STOVER, wearing a Kevlar bodysuit. GRUFF’s long-barreled bolt-action rifle sits against the bar, on his right. All three are admiring the rifle.]

Gruff: Oh, about a mile and a half away in good weather.

Darkloss: Damn.

Pluto: And you can live with that?

Gruff: I can live with the five mistresses, the penthouse and the premium Netflix plan one job a year sustains.

Darkloss: Why five mistresses?

Gruff: Same reason I have Netflix.

Pluto: I want to high five you so badly right now.

Darkloss: No hands and you aren’t a planet.

Pluto: It’s hard.

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