Bathroom Monologue: School of Bad Assassins

Jane and Brad’s idea was a bad one, but they were bored. They started an assassin’s school. Neither of them had ever killed so much as a turkey. They put no money into learning how to, either. All their money went into advertising, making themselves better known than all the expert hitmen in the world. They became so well known that assassins wouldn’t dare take them out – that would be suspicious. They were so well known that they got more students than any other school, and then trained them poorly. Graduates went on to try to kill for money and failed before they could cash their checks. That was Jane and Brad’s idea – clog the arteries of the industrial assassination complex with false confidence, and make the killers pay tuition up front.