Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: Things You Should Not Accept For Free

-Financial advice
-Warm firearms from nervous people as sirens are getting closer
-Anything wrapped in a towel that is dripping something red, regardless of how close the sirens are
-Boxing lessons in a meat packing plant
-Pills someone refers to as “candy”
-Old cheese
-Rides from strangers over long distances when your cell battery is low
-Your cousin’s friend’s backpack just seconds before you pass through Customs at the border
-Uwe Boll DVD’s (dreadful director)
-Drinks he insists on mixing in the other room, and no that’s okay he’ll go do it alone
-Directions that include shortcuts through the woods at night near that camp where all the counselors were beheaded twenty years ago as of tonight

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