Bathroom Monologue: This Place is Flat

Welcome to the flats. The citizens don’t know about the rest of the world, but they’ve taken topography and bought enough carpenter’s levels to know that every mile of this place is flat. They’re not near the ocean, but when a carriage disappears, it does not sink over the horizon. None even come back, unless they fall upwards. Things fall up more often than you’d think, but you get used to it, and even appreciate it when you knock your drink over and don’t have to clean the carpet. Yes, it’s flat, things can fall up, and winged foot racing is the local pastime. How fast can you run to the sun? You can do it, right? Your country better, because they’ll host the Olympics sooner or later, and they know the game they’ll add.