Slow Theology, OR, That’s literal, even for me

Sloth is the sin of being a dumb mammal that is naturally slow. The sin is punishable by being eaten by quicker predators and getting hit by motorists when crossing the roads they built in your habitat. One imagines God made this a sin on a bad day, or because “Six Deadly Sins” didn’t have the proper ring to it. It is a wonder that there aren’t more, like an Eighth Deadly Sin of being a parrot – that being an ostentatious annoying bird that repeats whatever people say around it to fit in and earn snacks. Really, wouldn’t we all rather that slow people were just allowed to walk at their own pace in favor of repetitive idiots getting hit at road crossings?