Saturday, September 19, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: Insults that Should Be Used, OR, “…dog devourer.” –Brian Aldiss, Total Environment

-Light Bulb Replacer
-Professional Dialer
-Buster of Mediocre Rhymes
-Man of Questionable Parentage
-Wanderer of Straight Lines
-Rifler of Unfamiliar Luggage
-Used Lufa Salesman
-Slapper of Goats
-Herculean Clodhopper
-Lead-footed Waltzer
-Book Sniffer
-Lobster Defiler
-Tarnation’s Carnation (for pretty girls)
-Lady of the Afternoon (for women in general)
-Dusky-Futured Migrant
-Washer of Clean Dishes
-Butter Licker
-Foreigner in Your Own Above
-Silent Musician
-Walrus Baby
-Tainter of Elegant Balls


  1. i recommend you lay off the sauce for a while..

  2. I may be a Buster of Mediocre Rhymes.

    Although I totally want to use Silent Musician on someone.

  3. I do believe being referred to as a used Loofa salesman would be the end of me.
    Great list.


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