Bathroom Monologue: Troll Park

"You’ve been looking for work for weeks now, so I’m going to offer this. I don’t normally because people are scared of the work. You’ll have to be around trolls. They’re nowhere as dangerous as society would have you think, though. It’s mostly bigotry and rare bad apples that spoil their image. Trolls aren’t evil. Mostly, they just want food, companionship and moisture. You’ll be providing the last of those items. Down on the other side of town is a defunct water park that some guys are starting back up. The equipment is substandard for human and dwarfish use, but trolls are tougher. Trolls will pay a lot to stay moist; the sunlight dries them out and turns them into statues, but floating in a pool or going down a slide, they’re slick and safe. Slick, safe and quite messy. That’s where you’ll come in. The rides all need janitors to keep spare troll mud from building up too much and clogging the filters and gears. You’ll probably start by reinforcing the water slides for the weight of their new customers, but they’ll need you for a hundred gigs. We’re talking eight-to-fourteen hour days at almost a living wage. Just stay out of the food court so the slower trolls don’t mistake you for goods."