Thursday, February 10, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Narcissism


A vain gift, but a necessary one. The man was impossible to shop for. He ignored cash and gift cards. He shrugged off any clothes, preferring to strut around nude (not that he didn’t have the body for it, but it was annoying). One Valentine’s Day she’d tried to make herself a gift to him. He dropped her after thirty seconds and went to the lake on his own. He was always going to the damned lake on his own.

She had tenacity. This year she wrote everyone who’d ever known him. His parents. His teachers from the school days. Friends for whom he might have done an idle drawing or holiday note. She compiled hundreds of his scribbles, contracts, waivers, medical records – anything with so much as his own signature. Then she had it bound and ordered two reflective mirrors for the front and rear covers. For all intents, it was a holistic autobiography, dedicated to and composed entirely by the man himself. She bet Narcissus wouldn’t throw this one away.

17 comments:

  1. I need her advice for Christmas shopping! Very crafty woman in all ways.

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  2. 10 bucks says he'll never get past the cover

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  3. I'm w/David on this one. And she needs a new man. smirkface

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  4. Genius! Love the way you retell myths through the eyes of other characters. :)

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  5. I think it's time she get a new boyfriend. lol

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  6. This is called persistence!

    But in the end I'm with Bazelli, it's time to make some changes. ;P

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  7. Clever, and he'll never notice the irony!

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  8. She finally worked out the perfect gift for him, but like fictodoodles said, he'd probably not get past the cover.

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  9. It's really sad when an author won't even read their own work...but when the cover looks great, who cares?

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  10. A great Twist on an old classic! I was so prepared for the dude to be a Narcissistic guy that I didn't realize it was ACTUALLY Narcissus in the end! Talk about taking culture for granted. Well played, sir.

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  11. Most excellent! I think I enjoyed the story even more the second time around.

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  12. Done. Now she can throw him away. (think he'll notice?)

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  13. Wow, you're amazing at getting a lot across in a few words. I'm going back for a second read of this now.

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  14. this is real????? and she married him bc?????? wow i this is outrajous!!!!!!

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