Sunday, November 6, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Credit Card Trail of the Dead

Her credit card records tell the tale. At noon on the last day we saw her, Antoinette used her Visa to purchase fresh produce at the local grocery, including three pounds of garlic.

Fifteen minutes later, it is used to purchase several antiques from the pawn shop on the same street. The items include a rosary, two crucifixes and a squirt gun.

Apparently she doesn’t drive home. An hour later she is eighty miles north, gassing up her car.

Her next purchase is at 8:15. She dined through dusk at Re-Church & Development, a trendy restaurant located in a former church. One wonders if she filled the squirt gun in their sink, hoping the tap was holy. There’s no telling how long she stayed on holy ground, though she does order two desserts and a lot of coffee.

She had to leave at some time, though the credit card trail gives us nothing all night. It’s not until 5:30 in the morning when she uses the card at a 24-hour Wal-Mart. It’s four hundred miles from Re-Church & Development. There, she buys sun block.


  1. And a large brimmed hat. Don't forget that.

  2. If she looked in the sporting goods department she should be able to get shirts and pants with sunscreen in them too. You can't be too careful these days.


  3. Ha haa love it, you're a clever chap!

  4. See, she should've been wearing a turtleneck!

  5. That what a particularly good one, and the standards are already pretty high with you. Well done.


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