Saturday, February 25, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: Godless Ghost

We first saw Dad's ghost the night of his funeral. He wandered the parlor, complaining about coloration and the tone of the priest and Mom's neckline. Mom took it the hardest, which is understandable. We had a priest over the next morning to commit an exorcism, but it didn't take. We had him come for repeats the next two days before it became evident that wasn't working. Mom got some gypsies to hold a seance to no avail. We got a Methodist, and a Unitarian, and even a Rabbi who seemed to think his cigar would help. None of it helped. We had doctor of dark arts flown in from South America, and all we got out of the deal was Dad stamping his feet upstairs, saying he'd never seen the appeal in hardwood. Eventually we ran out of options and resigned to doing nothing about him. Two days later, he'd vanished. No stamping, no ranting. We couldn't figure out why doing nothing had done the trick, until Mom remembered: Dad'd been an atheist.

5 comments:

  1. I really liked this one, John. Simply told but you've got all the details right – I had a clear sense of what Dad's ghost was like.

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  2. Heehee, nice punch line! "Oh wait, I'm dead."

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  3. Great stuff and as ghosts go he was quite harmless, everyone needs a little criticism from time to time.

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  4. I really liked this one. Thank you. Lots.

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  5. I like the idea. I think the punchline works. I think...Still thinking...

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