Monday, February 27, 2012

Bathroom Monologues Movie Awards

It's almost March 2012, so of course we're all talking about the best movies of 2011. If all the complaining on Twitter is any indication, I'm once again happy to have skipped the Academy Awards. Naturally I disagree with some of the winners. More naturally, I don't understand what some of the categories mean. But nothing shall dissuade me from telling a sizable democratic body of people who devote swaths of their lives to film that their mass conclusions were wrong. So here we go.

The Robbed Award
Going to the movie that got no play last year
and is still on my mind more than whatever won Best Picture
 I Saw the Devil

The Too Little/Too Late Award
Going to the movie I missed by several years,
but have now seen and wish I'd been on the bandwagon for at the time

The Embarrassment Award
Going to the thing that did everything film is supposed to do
better than pretty much all the films did that year
 Portal 2

The Raddest Scene Award
Going to the raddest scene in a motion picture
The Reveal and Follow-Up in Scream 4

The Dark Horse Award
Going to the movie that was way better than you all led me to believe it would be
 The Perfect Host

You're Actually All Great At This
Going to the best ensemble in a motion picture or TV show,
since one TV show smoked all the movies this year anyway
 Breaking Bad

The Frank/Nixon Memorial Award
Going to all actors who performed as well or better
than Frank Langella did in Frost/Nixon
 For the fourth year in a row, nobody

The "There's No Such Thing As The Best Movie of the Year" Award
Seeing as there is no such thing as a best movie amidst a field of comedies, dramas, musicals, period pieces, speculative fiction, animation, blockbusters and an international film market we're both not watching enough of as it is, the award that simply goes to whatever movie brought me the closes to both crying and laughing last year
 Paradise Lost 3


  1. I Saw The Devil is brilliant - great shout. I'm a massive Breaking Bad fan too, so happy to see it here.

    The Perfect Host is new to me - you recommend a viewing I take it?

    1. Especially since you like Dexter, Jack, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on The Perfect Host. It's a cheeky shock movie, and so much better than I expected. Pierce was almost parodying his own career by embracing a new genre.

  2. I'm 0 for 8 - haven't seen any of these.

    1. Of all of them, I'd be most interested of your thoughts on Ostrov.

  3. We took a break from Breaking Bad after we finished Season 3- you've reminded me how badly we need to get back into it.

  4. I love you, sir. And your fantastic, wonderful, hilarious sense of humor. The Frank/Nixon Award? Solid belly laugh. Thank you for that. ^_^


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