Sunday, April 21, 2013

My Foot Stopped Working: Nothing I Can Do, and, The End of Blogging

The worst is over. Not the A-to-Z Challenge - that's been fun - but the worst of the lung infection. Three times this week I was able to walk downstairs and make myself lunch. Whine about ablism all you want, but I do not handle immobility well. It's my big emotional vulnerability, especially when my body is so taxed that it can't move anymore, while my nerves as so shot that they're begging me to adjust for relief that can't come. I'd say I was a proper mess this time last week.

It got so grim that my neuropathy became unimportant. The loss of feeling hasn't progressed beyond the previous level in my feet for about two months, and there's been no suspicious loss of motor control. After one last set of tests and fruitless meeting with a neurologist, I've given up. Unless I get another sign on the neuropathic front, this is just something I'm going to deal with. In the scope of my medical life, numbness isn't scary. And while the last set of tests were utterly useless, I did get this funny and racially insensitive label from the hospital paperwork:


In case you were wondering: I'm officially not Hispanic.

The A-to-Z Challenge and my recent illnesses have also led me to question my posting habits. I've posted daily for several years now, and this month's theme hasn't done anything unusual to me, other than demand more of my time. As I prepare the next slate of submissions for magazines and agents, that time feels like it's dwindling, especially on those days when I haven't had the strength to lift head from pillow.

So, beloved readers, how would you feel if The Bathroom Monologues finally ceased daily publication? The new routine would remain consistent. I'm thinking of running a Friday Flash every Friday, and something non-fiction every Monday. Twice a week feels more manageable, though it's not set in stone. I'm seriously curious for what readers think about this, and what they want from the blog.

So: what do you want from The Bathroom Monologues?

41 comments:

  1. I'm very sorry to hear that your health has been so poor recently. You've struggled with far more than is reasonable health-wise, and I wish I could help. I'm also sorry that modern medicine (and perhaps homeopathic efforts as well?) have failed to help with your foot. We send you our love and think of you all the time.

    As for the blog, I've loved the daily updates, but if you need to cut back, then by all means, you should feel free to do so. It's your party, after all. Gentle hugs and big, encouraging smiles.

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement, Lillie. It means a lot to me. I'll keep everything you've said here in mind.

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  2. Quality not quantity is all well and good, if your quality was suffering due to daily postings, which it doesn't IMHO. But if you blog on a twice weekly or a more sporadic basis, I'm probably more likely to catch all your posts anyway. Other readers might feel the same. Best to you.

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    1. If you're comfortable saying, how often do you read this blog? Not to force you to tell me, just curious. Thank you for the well-wishes.

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  3. Do whatever makes you comfortable. Your suggestion sounds like a good option to me. Thanks for keeping it up for all these years.

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    1. I'm not necessarily quitting yet, but it's on my mind. I definitely don't want to get so sick that I have to put up constant reruns or poor quality new work just to keep up with the schedule, you know?

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  4. It's your blog, do what you must. If you post, daily or weekly, I'll read it. You've earned a break, wanted or no, so go ahead and take it. Rest, recover, and come back energized! (And keep us posted on the query process.)

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    1. A break might be interesting, as well. I wondered if I wouldn't take a month off, or a month on a lighter schedule, and then embark on another five years of posting to see if I could beat my old streak.

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  5. I'm a new follower thanks to the challenge, so all I can say is you have to do what's best for you. If that's two posts a week, then do it.

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  6. Sometimes, it helps to adjust the 'schedule' to make things easier. Especially with health issues and real life nipping at your heels.

    Daily or weekly, I'll still be here and looking forward to anything you put out there.

    Hope you start feeling 100% soon :)

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    1. I didn't know you were still following my posts! Thank you for the kind words, Mark. The Bathroom Monologues are definitely going to hang around.

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  7. You're the boss of your blog, its not the boss of you! (I have to remember that sometimes). As a reader, I don't usually catch all your posts, so if it's down to one or two a week, I'd probably keep better up to date. I don't think anyone expects you to post daily forever. Your health comes first, mentally and physically. Take care my friend.

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    1. I'm trying to take care, I swear, even as I get my submissions package together for Viable Paradise. It'd be nice, right...?

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    2. I'm rooting for you! I hope you can go!

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  8. Your career as a writer is more important than the blog. It seems that sooner or later in the development of their writing, people outgrow their blogs.

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    1. I don't think this blog will ever disappear. Well, it will probably disappear when I die or lose my marbles. But until then, it'll be active in some way. I'm just curious about sustainable habits as my career grows for now.

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  9. We'd much rather have you alive and well and contented- even if that means hearing from you a little less often.

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  10. I could never imagine posting something daily. You've done a fine job of it but just as I cannot post something of my own daily I can't be relied on to get by daily for the offerings at The Bathroom Monologues either. You can certainly be excused to focus on your health and possible paying writing gigs. I will still stop by, your archives have yet to be scratched by me. I wish you well with everything!

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    1. Daily posting is much more intimidating if you haven't done it. It's still difficult, but it's a difficulty I generally relish in, until sicknesses like these make life overwhelming. Hope you enjoy these vast archives some day!

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  11. I want its writer to take care of himself and if that means he posts twice a week rather than everyday then so be it.

    I don't get on here everyday, not even close. And while I read multiple posts to catch up when I do log on, I actually find that I sometimes feel overwhelmed due to the extremely varied style of your posts. I'd be more than content with two posts a week.

    Bottom line, you are more important that your blog. Focus on you and let the blog be a regular blog rather than the super (I.E. from Krypton) blog it has been.

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    1. Do you dislike that my posts vary so much in content? It's totally fair if you wish it was always Fantasy, or always non-fiction. Just very curious about that. It's the common wisdom for bloggers to pigeonhole themselves.

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  12. Twice a week sounds very reasonable.

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  13. I'm anew follower and I think you should do whatever you need to for yourself. Glad to meet you!
    ~Summer
    My Blog Post

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  14. Do what is right for you. I have loved your daily posts, but you and your health are the issue here. Twice a week would be a gift. If, and only if, you can do it without pushing yourself too hard. Health issues suck, though I am very, very happy to hear your lung infection is finally improving. How is your mother? And grandmother?

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    1. You've been one of the sweetest supporters of my blog. I was so touched when you e-mailed after my neuropathy diagnosis, and of course what you say here makes sense.

      My mother's bronchitis cleared up much faster than my lung infection. It's clear that my system took this whole thing much worse than anyone else involved. I'm kind of a baby like that. My grandmother still has lingering issues from her illness, and at 95, that is likely to happen to a body. She's able to walk with assistance, now, though, and is starting to get around. She's much more aware of her surroundings, too, which is a massive relief.

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    2. A compromised immune system means that everything hits harder. And in my experience by the time you have neurological problems the damaged immune system is almost a given. Which sucks again.
      I am very glad to hear that your mother and your grandmother are improving though.

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  15. I'm a new follower and although I enjoy your posts, you should do what is best for your health. You could always limit your posts on a trial basis, see how it goes and then return to daily posts if you wanted to

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  16. Dearest John,
    I want you to do what you are feeling like doing.
    I LOVE your writing, and as I am a freelance reviewer and a top reviewer on Amazon, I know what I am talking about.
    As a mother of kids, a couple of whom are probably your age, I would say to you, to my mind, this:
    for the MOMENT, just for now, get your health back in shape, OK?

    We here have had all sort of health scares. We have had serious ones too, long term and short. Kind of like you have. We have immuniity problems too. So I am not going to tell you that you are going to be fine next week. I am actually very worried about you, but my computer broke down this morning and I didn't get a chance to write until now.

    I don't often discuss this, but I am what I consider a cheap psychic (well, I don't charge and I have no class so there you go).

    Here's what I think. You WILL feel better. You are a phenomenal advocate for yourself. Do you need someone else as well to call someone? Tell me!
    I will do anything you need to help you.

    You are a dear sweet person and a wonderful talent and, like it or not, I have a whole bunch of "adopted kids" (your mom needn't worry--it just means I care about you) all over the Internet. I am going to be checking in on you all the time.
    My husband has neuropathy. We have a couple of kids who have pulmonary problems in the family.
    I affirm the braveness and grace with which you carry your burden. It WILL GET BETTER. YOU will get better. We ALL love you.

    jean xox

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  17. PS: ¿Seguro que no es hispano

    jean, 'cause with your name and all...xox

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  18. Whew! I thought you were going to quit blogging completely. Happy that you're going to continue, even if on a limited scale. I admire your sheer perseverance in maintaining this blog daily, especially with everything that's been going on in your life lately. (And your wry wit is an added bonus.) You are immensely talented, but it's far more important to manage your health first. I saw Beverly's comment above, and I'll throw in my 2 cents: I love the scope of your writing, and I believe it keeps your blog fresh and the readers on their toes. I wish you the very best!
    Lisa x

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  19. I would rather have your posts twice a week than none at all. Take care of yourself FIRST!!
    {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
    Connie
    A to Z-ing to the end
    Peanut Butter and Whine

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  20. Hello, John

    I'll write to you when I get home from work. In the meantime, you are in my prayers.

    God Bless

    Felicity

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  21. Can I have your blog on alternating weekends?

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  22. Do what you can, but don't make yourself sick trying to stick to a schedule. Especially don't make yourself sick(er?) trying to make an arbitrary, self-assigned schedule. Once or twice a week would be fine with me, and probably a whole lot easier on you.

    You are in my thoughts.

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  23. I'm very sorry to hear you're not feeling good. I love your writing and your style so please keep doing what according to what you feel doing. But mainly just take care of yourself!

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  24. You know John I gave up trying to post something most days, it's too distracting and time consuming I aim for 2-3 times a week and I think that's manageable. I think it shouldn't matter to you what we think I think you should do what suits you and it sounds like to me 2-3 times a week would be more than enough for you too. ^_^

    I hope you feel much better really soon.

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  25. I'm sorry the medical powers-that-be couldn't give you a proper diagnosis and treatment. I will wonder out loud about acupuncture, and stop.

    But I do hope you get well soon. May your body know how to deal with this better than the doctors.

    Twice a week sounds like plenty of blogging to me. I know the common wisdom is to blog often, but the truth is Twitter and other link-announcement tools mitigate the need for daily blogging. You have your Twitter feed listed on your blog, and that shows you're active and available on-line.

    Besides, if you're feeling poorly (or more poorly than usual), Maslow's ladder of needs should be considered:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

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  26. Re: the medical record -- does "OT" mean "other"? I'm trying to remember back to my student job of filing ER reports, and I don't think Canadian reports mention race or ethnicity (but first language will get mentioned if a translator is required). I suppose it's medically important for some conditions -- I vaguely remember a M*A*S*H episode where a vaccine causes severe anaemia in people of African and Middle Eastern descent.

    "NOT HISPANIC" sounds like a poor database design -- the equivalent of "I need a category and it's too hard to explain".

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  27. John, so sorry you have to deal with all these health issues -- like others have said, it seems totally reasonable to take a break from daily posting under the circumstances. Hope things improve for you...

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