Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Bathroom Monologue: 6 Simple Health Tips for Writers



1. We all like to mix something in with our yogurt. But have you considered mixing in raisins or cranberries instead of Skittles?

2. Recent studies show that a sizable percentage of athletes get out of bed before noon. See if you can match their records by rising at 11:59 at least three days per week. Try to space these days out, though, so as to not injure yourself.

3. Many authors suspect all the exercise they need is walking the mailbox to pick up their fat checks. However, push your limits. See if you want stand up a few times per day, or even walk to the bathroom rather than using the rope-drawn pail system erected beside your desk.

4. Many authors find podcasts encouraging for their struggling processes. But did you know you don’t have to listen to them while sobbing in the bathtub? They’re also suitable while sitting at a desk, making coffee, or walking to your therapy session. Experiment!

5. Many authors celebrate hitting their word count goals with a snack, the most popular being a cheap bowl of cereal. Don’t worry, we health nuts won’t take away your sugary reason for living. Instead, simply try 2% milk in your cereal instead of gravy.

6. Spend a mere one third of the time you would be complaining about writer’s block by instead lifting weights. You’ll likely turn into an Olympic champion, or a prolific novelist.

14 comments:

  1. Ha! You nailed it with this one, John. Although, now every time I see a cup of yogurt I'm gonna think "that needs some Skittles."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Numbers 3 and 6 are my favorites! Hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll get right on this. Sounds like a good writing exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wait, no skittles?

    I think I get enough exercise changing from my thick bathrobe to my thin bathrobe every day, about 4 o'clockish.... if I'm feeling ambitious. :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. But I like the pail next to me. It gives the room such an... interesting aroma! XD Great post. You had me laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ha! Great tips! Not sure I have the willpower to follow them, but great tips nonetheless.

    ReplyDelete
  7. #7 Writers who write on a "second shift" after a full day at another job may find eventually the constant lack of sleep leads to hallucinations. This is great for story ideas, but don't overdo it or else you'll lack the concentration to actually write anything down.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL, awesome tips. I like the lifting weights idea. I'm going to be a muscle-woman soon if I actually follow it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ah! Truly simple health tips! How refreshing! As opposed to the ones that "claim" to be simple and then tell you go to out and run a marathon every month and subsist on celery.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love the rope-drawn pail system. Why haven't I thought of that. :)
    http://www.mauldinfamily1.worpress.com

    ReplyDelete

Counter est. March 2, 2008