Dear Expurgated Press,
I am finding your detailed submissions guidelines very
helpful. Your "What We Don't Want" section lasting a screen and a
half showed your devotion to craft, and I am picking up from other sections all
the time.
For instance, had I not scrutinized the eighteen bullet points on "What Your Format Must Be," I would have had my submission immediately rejected for not applying the mandatory 0.6" margins. I have printed the guidelines page (it actually comes to five pages in your formatting choice) to carry with me at all times, to refer to as an e-zine bible. I am still working through your "Common Mistakes" opus.
Yet as meticulous as your Submissions Page is, and though I cannot admit to having read all five printed pages of your guidelines yet, I cannot help feeling something is missing.
For instance, had I not scrutinized the eighteen bullet points on "What Your Format Must Be," I would have had my submission immediately rejected for not applying the mandatory 0.6" margins. I have printed the guidelines page (it actually comes to five pages in your formatting choice) to carry with me at all times, to refer to as an e-zine bible. I am still working through your "Common Mistakes" opus.
Yet as meticulous as your Submissions Page is, and though I cannot admit to having read all five printed pages of your guidelines yet, I cannot help feeling something is missing.
Where is the "Payment" section?
Yours in adoration,
John Wiswell
BUSTED! Or, as the kids say, "PWN3D!!!1!!"
ReplyDeleteAlso, ZING!
ReplyDeleteGood question!
ReplyDeleteHehe. Too true. Good one, John!
ReplyDeleteLOL I think I'd like to know where the payment section is too. ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL it can be a bit like that at times! ^_^
ReplyDeleteYeah...this is sadly true.
ReplyDeleteAhaha! This is not encouraging at all.... :(
ReplyDeleteYes, this entry is amazeballs. or is that expression out of fashion yet?
ReplyDeletevery funny@!!!
xox jean
Hey, John! This is hilarious!! Way to rock the funny bone!
ReplyDeleteBTW: Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my post when I was a guest on MuseItUp's blog on Friday. I really appreciate it - it's great to meet you! Incidentally, kudos to your sister for being able to sculpt food ascetically. What a gift!
Glad you liked the black-and-white image I used on my post. I couldn't stop laughing the first time I saw it, and it still makes me laugh every time I see it now!
Take care, and thanks again!
Haha, nice!
ReplyDeleteWell said, John! There should be compensation just for wading through their publishing tape!
ReplyDelete