"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to assume I'm a lousy kisser."
"The kiss part was nice. But why do you look at me like that?"
"Like what? Look at you from this angle? Because I have to look up. You're a hundred feet tall."
"I'm one inch taller than you."
"The difference looks bigger from down here, you giant."
"Now I'm not kissing you anymore."
"Good. My tippy toes were starting to ache."
"You're a thousand feet tall."
"I thought it was a hundred."
"Maybe you grew while we were talking. I wouldn't put that past you."
"It really burns you up to be shorter than me."
"Mostly, I'm afraid I'm a lousy kisser."
"You're not. You're mediocre-to-decent."
"Don't get needy, you tiny thing."
"Needy? I'm relieved. I don't have that much practice. Mediocre is an achievement."
"Oh, now that's sad. Come here."
"Only with you, who's probably of another genus. Titanica or something."
"Yeah, no more kissing."
"Can you get some tissues from the top shelf for me?'
"And now I'm leaving."
"To fight crime?"
"I'm starting to think you like this more than making out."
"I knew the truth would travel up there eventually."
At which point the narrator turns to you and asks: what did you think their genders were?