Saturday, November 24, 2007

Bathroom Monologue: Another moment with Consumer, the Dragon

"These days I serve mostly as a bank. There's no trust safer to leave your gold with than a dragon of my size and reputation. If the reputation doesn't scare them off, I'll eat them. It's a very simple policy. I like the work because mortals have a tendency to die, at which point I default on the contract and keep whatever they left. I got a whole hollow mountain of treasure out of this deal. Only have one customer right now, Ninx Anghell, who never seems to care about picking up her stuff. It's all in the dropping-off for her. She's one of perpetual thieves, you know. Like a compulsive shopper without the credit card. Ambitious as Hell, too. I'm using a golden roof for a pillow right now that I have no idea how she managed to steal. The charge to open her account was simple: seven old television sets. Of course we don't get any reception here, but I've got a way of futzing with vacuum tubes. I can tune into Limbo on most of them. How I love watch those unbaptised babies float."

1 comment:

  1. The question is, now that the Catholic church has renounced Limbo, can Consumer retune the TVs to watch the babies float in Heaven?

    *still giggling*


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