Monday, August 11, 2008

Bathroom Monologue: How exactly are you different from a dentist?

$2,572 for wisdom teeth. I wonder if I have to put the check under the surgeon’s pillow. I wonder if they add a random two-digit number to keep you from realizing that thousands of dollars for something I could have done with pliers and a steak knife is way overpriced. Instead you just look at that awkward sum and figure it must have calculated it with a complicated oral surgery algorithm. Screw it. I’m doing this at home. I cut my toenails by myself. This can’t be much more complicated. What do you mean it isn’t sterile? I’m not planning on having kids anyway.


  1. Hmmm, that's just about how much it cost me to have mine removed.....

  2. Maybe they gave me your bill by accident?

  3. Tsk, tsk, John! I will kindly refer you to an old monologue of yours, in which you clearly explain that wisdom comes from wisdom teeth. Obviously, being very wise (the first three letters even beginning your family name), you must pay more to have your wisdom teeth harvested.


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