Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Ten Clues of Christmas

This idea was thought up in the bathroom even if I didn't write it there. The following appears on the inside of the card to my brother’s Christmas present. He loves to figure out what the present is without unwrapping it. While the clues are tailored to his tastes (he loved the book from which the first quotation comes, likes The Doors and is a stand-up comic), I think that the ten clues are so broad that a lot of people could play this guessing game. Without googling or otherwise cheating, I invite anyone to read the ten clues below and figure out what David Wiswell is getting for Christmas (or got for Christmas, depending when you’re reading).

Clue 1: Who wrote the following quote?

“The following decision I make with all the legal impact and support of a signed testament: I wish this memoir to be published only when _ _ _ _ _ _ is no longer alive.
Thus, neither of us is alive when the reader opens this book. But while the blood still throbs through my writing hand, you are still as much part of blessed matter as I am, and I can still talk to you from here to Alaska. Be true to your Dick.”

Clue 2: The omitted word in the quotation of Clue 1 is an infamous name.

Clue 3: This present was written by the author of Clue 1’s quote. This is what came next.

Clue 4: The title of this present is two words long.

Clue 5: The first word of the title could describe this piece of paper, or dawn, or someone who is very sick.

Clue 6: The first word of the title is the third word in one of stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan’s albums.

Clue 7: The second word of the title is the third word in the title of a song by The Doors.

Clue 8: The Doors song referred to in Clue 7 has the following lyric:

“You know that it would be untrue,
You know that I would be a _ _ _ _.”

Clue 9: The omitted word in the quotation of Clue 8 rhymes with the second word in the title of this present.

Clue 10: The first and second words in the title of the present have the same number of letters.


  1. except for jeopardy, i suck at games...

    have a happy holiday, john... glad you are moving back into your old self.

  2. I am not smart enough for this guessing game, but will keep muddling through it. :) Happy Christmas, sir.

  3. You're welcome to guess at one or two of the clues to work towards the whole rather than guess the gift, but it's up to y'all!

    Hope everybody's having a fun Christmas Eve. I'm just wishing I could eat cookies.

  4. i only know the 1st clue is lolita don't know the rest

  5. The first word is Pale
    Now what about the second?

  6. The present is a book: Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov.


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