Friday, January 1, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Free Again

The deputy came running as soon as the Sheriff paged. He dreaded looking.

"Did he really?" the deputy asked. The Sheriff nodded and directed him to the cell.

The cell door was still shut. There were some dirty hoof prints on the floor, but otherwise, there was nothing inside.

"He doesn't even have hands!" The Sheriff bellowed. "How can he possibly have escaped?"

The deputy poked at the wire mesh window. It was steel and still in place. He'd not escaped through there.

"It's his name. It's his trade. He can't be contained."

The Sheriff turned on him. "He is not a force of nature! You superstitious hillbillies have built him up into something."

The deputy bristled. "We superstitious hillbillies built a concrete room with a one square foot window that had steel mesh over it, and a septic system too narrow for a snake to escape. It's you who let him get away!"

"I still refuse to pretend he's some magical entity. He's just livestock."

"Regardless of what you believe, Sheriff, he's free." The deputy hung his head. "The Scapegoat is free again."


  1. The scapegoat will always be alive and free. :) Very funny!

  2. Funny. I think he has been hanging around here lately.

  3. I saw him here in Baltimore - quick! Funny story with a fabu teist. HNY! Peace, Linda

  4. I think he was my roommate for a while...

  5. Thank you all for the kind words! Glad you enjoyed the story.

  6. The (original) scapegoat was supposed to be killed. If you do not kill him, he can not be contained.

  7. Most amusing, John!

    Happy New Year, and I reckon the CAPTCHA I just got asked to enter, "enesduu", is a happy new year wish in another world, it has that sort of ring to it.

  8. Hope it comes my way. I need a good scapegoat.

    Too funny. YOu're one witty guy, John.


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