Saturday, January 2, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Future Tensed Up

"It’s a peculiar disability that we think explains prophets and psychics. Some of the atoms in your brain don’t exist in the present. They are charged particles that technically exist in some future time. They’re linked to your current brain, plugging gaps where otherwise you’d hemorrhage. The result is that little bits of your brain are thinking far in the future, knowing things that haven’t happened in the world of the rest of your brain. Your future self is unconsciously reporting things he sees to his past self, all by accident. Once we figure out just how far in the future these brain spots are, we can figure out when you’re getting your information from. Similarly once these regions stop firing altogether we can have a good guess as to when you’ll die – when that future brain goes inactive. With any luck, we’ll have the information to save you."


  1. Happy new year, John. I think everyone's future brain has a small mis-firing the morning after NYE... that headache thing again...!


  2. So. If one doesn't have a, is this because it's in the future? If this is the case, I feel drastically comforted that I have a future brain, and that my present non existent one is....

    Well, I'll just stop there.

    I like this.

  3. Happy New Year to you both! But are those drunken neurons misfiring, or forefiring?

  4. so was this the future brain cells having this conversation with the present? Loved this.


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