Bathroom Monologue: A Win or a Gas

"One of the tests at camp was putting out a fire using a can of gasoline. That was a mean one. You got kids panicking, dumping the gas on the fire hoping it would magically work like water. The lucky boys only lost their eyebrows. Some tried to draw a line with the gas, to make the fire follow them out of the room. That was a similar disaster, as the fire kept spreading every which way it wanted, only doing moreso in the direction of the boy with the can. When it was my turn, I just brought the flat end of the can down on top of the flames. Smothered it right away. The councilor flipped out like I was going to blow myself up, which in hindsight I take as a victory. They never gave me my badge. No idea how you’re supposed to do it.”