Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Vineguard Does Not Live in Denial

I was asked to post an excerpt of dialogue from a work in progress today. Well, I love this exchange, so here it is. It's between Ninx and Vineguard. Ninx is a thief. Vineguard is a war hero who helps her because he's in love. That's a problem since she's a lesbian. Also, a problem because he keeps having to steal things. They're on their way to the next heist when this happens.

“Keep living in denial.”

“Hold on there just a moment.” Vineguard put a hand on the door, preventing Ninx from opening it. “I in no way deny your sexuality.”

She rolled her head at the sky. “Vineguard. I’m gay and you want to marry me.”

He looked straight at her, never losing his happy composure as he said, “You prefer women who are taller and bustier than you. You melt for a good soprano. You like if they laugh at bad your jokes, and you tell a few to check. You prefer if they can’t hold their liquor, for multiple reasons.”

“Great, you can write a textbook about my love life. But you cannot be in the book!”

“I in no way have ever denied your sexuality. Perish the thought. I am in love with it because it is a part of you.”

“So you want a threesome?”

He looked away in horror. “I could never sleep with another woman.”

“And I could only sleep with other women. This could not work.”

While he was looking away, she went for the handle. She jerked it, but it didn’t budge. Ninx looked down to find his foot was wedged in front of the door.

Vineguard returned that happy gaze on her.

“Could not work? That means you’ve entertained the thought!”

“This has never been entertaining. Shut up and help me steal the statue.”

“Only if you admit I’m not in denial. I know exactly who I'm in love with.”

“Fine. You know exactly who I am and are too stupid to recognize it.”

“That’s better.” He opened the door and bent an arm for her to take. “Shall we go in?”


  1. Some guys never give up... God bless him... Should give ups ALL hope, huh?

  2. "You melt for a good soprano". < How'ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after that? Grand zinging persuasion John. You dialog like that cool monster/monster on Sesame St. Remember him? ~ Absolutely*Kate

  3. he is a sandwich short of a loaf..great exchange

  4. Hah! At least he knows it doesn't matter, I guess? In her defense, I'd be frustrated, too.

  5. Hey John ... Since you were the one who shed the light in the night on this DIALOGUE BlogFest ... AT THE BIJOU has a whole showcase Review*Revue on ~


    Well SURE I gave credit to YOU for participating in your indomitable flair in this blogfesta -- We've asked for posting of AUTHOR LINKS after we show DIALOGUE in the SHOWCASE proclaimed ... Would love it if you added in your own claims to fame ... Your readers may just recognize a Venutolo, a Beetner, a Brazill, a Clevenger, a McFarland, a Miller, a Michaels, a Sanderford, a Crisman, a Northern, a Morschel and of course a Wiswell that's swell too.

    ~ Absolutely*Kate,
    believin' in believers with a spin of her own {http://at-the-bijou.blogspot.com/2010/05/two-drifters-off-to-see-blogfesta.html}

  6. That was really fun! Seriously, I enjoyed it immensely. I just love this guy, he never gives up! Great dialogue - thanks for sharing.

  7. HA HA! You know my manta is never give up. It must be his too.

  8. Some how you managed to make Vineguard seem incredibly dumb and really clever at the same time. Really funny exchange - made me laugh.

  9. Very fun and witty. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Great example of excellent dialogue. I may come back and study it some more. :)

  10. Awesome scene. Fun conversartion and terrific chemistry going on here. There was a problem, though. It was too short!


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