Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Little White Lies

No, nothing malicious. It was only a little white l--- uh. No. A little non-racial lie. Deceptions entirely devoid of ethnicity or gender. Tiny, minuscule lies with no bias against dwarfism. Tolerant, forward-thinking lies that embrace all people of all creeds. An entirely inoffensive lie with decisive religious neutrality – indeed, a religiously tolerant deception! A lie that cares not for the color of the lips it leaves or earlobes it enters, one that treats men and women equally and without discrimination for how much money they make. A lie, really a fib, that boldly embraces all childhoods and backgrounds, back credit histories and sexual persuasions. It was not the truth, but rest assured, it should have offended no one.

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, that's the ticket. Have you met my wife, Morgan Fairchild?

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  2. Your wit really knows no bounds. That is no fib, racially tolerant or otherwise.

    (Psst, I think you might be missing a word here: the color of the it leaves)

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  3. I prefer lies to be eqully offensive to all - they're more fun that way :)

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  5. Hmm, sounds like a virus. :)

    Those little equal-opportunity lies will get you every time.

    Good stuff.

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  6. Your wit is as sharp as (insert non-ethnically originated, non-gender specific, religiously tolerant simile).
    Very clever.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  7. Clever and humorous with a zing. As always...

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  8. I am so happy you turned this into a piece! It was totally worthy of it originally, I thought so at the time - you must have heard me howling with laughter from four states away.

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