Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Happily Ever After (In Comparison)


And they lived happily ever after, in comparison. They squabbled, especially when money was tight at the end of the month. When she wasn’t in the mood for four months straight during pregnancy, he eyed the wet nurse. She hated his mother and kept losing letters from her, despite having a firm grip on all the other mail. In comparison, this was the good life. Once you’ve been forced into a toxic magical sleep, or you’re clubbed and kidnapped by a perverted witch, or your kingdom’s been overrun by vines, your lover drinking milk straight from the container isn’t so bad. This they learned without saying. It was implicit. Even when he died, leaving her to spend seven of her wrinkliest years alone, this was still happily ever after, because it was grief for a great family built instead of panic dream in an eternal slumber.

10 comments:

  1. It could always be worse. This was my favourite line: "leaving her to spend seven of her wrinkliest years alone."

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  2. I dunno ... drinking milk straight from the container is pretty bad...

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  3. Who'd a thought that reality could be the new happily ever after? :)

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  4. I'm a fan of this version of happily ever after. The usual fairy tale version seems stagnant to me.

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  5. Awesome! I wish there was a law that said that movies have to include the details after ending with 'and they lived happily ever after'. It'd be in super fine print at the bottom of the screen, i'm sure.

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  6. There are reasons they don't tell you what happens the morning after.....

    (smiley)

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  7. I recent years I've heard more people complain about the endings of such stories and Disney movies, setting a bad example for girls or depicting love incorrectly. That never bothered me, in part because even at 2 I comprehended that these were larger than life tales. It also didn't bother me because of course you could live happily ever after if you put up with all the crap that happened in Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. It'd put your life in perspective and give you some gratitude (especially for your rich hotty spouse).

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  8. I'm fine with the endings for the most part. My kid didn't believe in singing mice or dueling fairy godmothers, I doubt she believed Prince Charming was come riding up on his horse to save the day. It's called fiction people.

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  9. I love how this points out a more rational example of "happy". Eternal bliss it ain't -- heaven is a place where nothing ever happens, as the Talking Heads put it.

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  10. "of course you could live happily ever after if you put up with all the crap that happened in Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty."

    That's a really good point.

    Of course, my problem was always with the idea of "one true love."

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