Sunday, January 30, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Lapsed Atheist

To listen to today's blasphemy either click the triangle on the left to begin streaming audio, or click this text to download the MP3.
"No, no. 'Lapsed' atheist. Culturally godless, born and raised to a nice secular family. They imbued with empiricism and skepticism, the core rational American values. But there comes a time in a boy's life when his father's irreligion doesn’t fit him anymore. Maybe it's hearing Johnny Cash for the first time, meeting Catholic school girls, or going to college and experiencing all these other kinds of irreligions. You take Astronomy and see that big universe, Physics shows how it all makes sense, Statistics shows you all the sense is nonsense, and you wonder, "What am I disbelieving in?" I fell away from it. Spent my time disbelieving in other things, like public decency and birth control. I still disbelieve around the holidays and put in hours at a not-for-profit. We put up those 'Good for Goodness Sake' posters that nobody actually thinks is clever. It’s just ritual. I might not do it this year. My wife's Hindu and doesn't think it's funny. Getting married was a stretch. I went through the rites, found twenty or thirty gods that were amusing to pray to, but didn't really convert. It's just, you know. Life."


  1. Now there's an interesting twist on the norm! What's funny is your character doesn't even bat an eye.

  2. As a non-lapsed athiest, I found this delightful! Great reading too, as always.

  3. As a non-athiest, I found this hilarious. It's a common issue among the religious and irreligious. supersmiley face

  4. You don't see this everyday. Thanks for the giggles! I think I snorted some of my tea.


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