Saturday, July 9, 2011

BM: "There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man." –Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

It sounds nice, but that means wise men don’t fear:

-Being in clear line of ventilation with people exhibiting symptoms of a catastrophic airborne disease.

-Uniformed masses whose biases cause them to set their houses on fire.

-Getting stuck in a burning building.

-Getting covered in HIV-positive blood.

-Talking dogs that threaten to bite them as soon as they fall asleep.

-Falling out of an airplane.

-A shark’s fin popping out of the water when they’re bleeding.

-Death, which is a peculiar fear to lack if they’re afraid of sea storms.

-Their legs getting caught in the anchor chain as it’s thrown overboard, during a storm or otherwise.

-An amateur juggler trying out the "handleless knife set" right next to them, also during a storm or otherwise.

-A day with no sun.

-Having a curious medical condition and seeing Hugh Laurie walk into the room.

-That while dining in a foreign country at a highly recommended exotic restaurant, the waiter will bring them a dish that possesses one of a hundred things to which they’re fatally allergic, despite the waiter’s thickly-accented assurances that this thickly-spiced meal is quite palatable and the entire party staring in mute disdain for their hesitation.


-The foundation of their epistemology being found wanting.

-That he fears the correct three things.

-That there aren't other things he should fear.


  1. I think 'Fear itself' should be added to the list.

    Also, your list could be used as a list of things that should be youtubed.


  2. That quote reminds me of one from The Once and Future King: "...four things a Lothian cannot trust - a cow's horn, a horse's hoof, a dog's snarl, and an Englishman's laugh."

    I'm glad to see spiders made your list.

  3. Now to start my day I've recalled all the things I'm afraid of, many of which are on your list, like falling out of an airplane... Thank you for ruining my Saturday, Wiswell. LOL

  4. This is awesome. Though you forgot to add "people who don't like the Muppets" to your list, along with "fans of Claremont era Cyclops" and "Google". Otherwise, spot on!

  5. ...probably overly-friendly circus clowns should be feared also.

  6. This is the very best one: Talking dogs that threaten to bite them as soon as they fall asleep.

    This I would like to see, even if I would be afraid too, heh.

    The spiders were a nice touch of ordinary in such a creative list of fears.


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