"Two years he’s turned us out of the playoffs. Their training camp looks even sharper this year. You’re going to have to do something more than trade for a draft pick. And I’ve got something to think about. Something to keep in your pocket, in your office safe. Something you should burn before November, whether or not we do it.
"I know a woman at an escort service. She's not from here or their town. I think she’s from Baton Rouge. We met once. She's… frightening in how persuasive she gets.
“We can hire her through an intermediary who will have no direct connections to you or our team.
"Now, if he's too good a few weeks into the season, we call an innocuous disposable cell. She'll single him out at a club. Get him alone. He's already had so many indiscretions that he practically has this coming. He’s had so many that whatever she claims, people will suspect. ESPN will discuss. Blogs will believe. The bruising will be artificial. The photographs convincing. The distractions? Perpetual. Even if her suit folds, he will miss at least one game against us. In all likelihood, he'll miss the season and wind up on a crap team next year, possibly in the other conference.
"It will cost us less than any of our defensive linemen make. Her life will be pulled apart by media and she won't care, because she doesn’t like her life. You wouldn’t agree to this if you did. With this money, she can make another one somewhere she likes better than Baton Rouge. And we hamstring the biggest team in our division.
"It's a thing you can do."
A little off season planning, huh? I love the feel of this story. It sounds so plausible and real... and bad. And, for the record, I love football.
ReplyDeletePlaying football causes cold weather [it happens every year] and apparently it causes dastardly imaginations to flourish as well.
ReplyDeleteSo, John, do you have an inside source in the big leagues. This sounds just crazy enough to be true.
ReplyDeleteHeh, yeah… makes you wonder. The salary cap doesn't keep you from spending money after all.
ReplyDeleteAre you ready for some corporate espionage?
I wonder if this really happens. I'm cynical enough to think it might.
ReplyDeleteAnd knowing how sports players are he will most probably think he pulled her.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! And I'm sure similar things have happened for real! Most probably going on somewhere right now.
Chuck, I also enjoy American football. It's probably my favorite sport. I hesitated to post this one - then the end of the Packers/Saints game happened. On the Packers' punt, one Packer desperately tried to get the ball to the one yard line ahead of the Saints' receivers, to effectively prevent the Saints from having a chance to tie up and have a chance to win the game. The squelching of a chance of a chance as I was deliberating this one was it for me.
ReplyDeleteTim, the weather is an underreported side effect of this great and terrible pastime. I'm sure sporting is responsible for most catastrophes.
Laurita, sad that we could become so cynical that this seems plausible. But I guess that's what I was aiming for.
Mr. FAR, not such a money-getter, that slogan. They should test it out in some markets.
TS, do you watch much U.S. sports?
Craig, what do you mean by "pulled"? This might be a regional thing.
As long as you keep that woman away from Rodgers...
ReplyDeleteThis does make me wonder just how far teams would go. Perhaps not this, but even spiking somebodies drink with a steroid to get them suspended.
Very interesting
I agree with the others, this sounds all too plausible. Great tone of voice.
ReplyDeleteI am a football nut but this story scares even me. Lol
ReplyDeleteThe fact that I spent most of my life near Baton Rouge made this story feel far too plausible, lol. Good one!
ReplyDeleteMichael, Rodgers had a heck of a night last night. The drink-spiking is one I think I've heard before, though that could be the internet equivalent of an urban legend.
ReplyDeleteIcy, did anything in particular emerge from the voice for you?
Mary, scares you as an idea, or fear these sorts of plots happen?
Madison, not to condemn Baton Rouge here, but I have to ask: what about living near that locale made her decisions seem plausible?
If you can't beat 'em on the field/court, then beat off of it. It just goes to show that the strategy of professional sports is a 365-day job.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, it is terrible. Mostly because it is sounds like it could really happen. Has happened, maybe.
ReplyDeleteWhatever it takes to win, right?
ReplyDeleteSounds like a decent ROI to me.
ReplyDeleteJocks!
ReplyDeleteWell,the locale puts you close to N.O., a richer source for such hires. But I know how seriously the game is taken down there, that's all. It might be that way other places, too, but I don't see it here.
ReplyDeleteSkullduggery and underhand dealings in sport? Wow, who'd a believed it? I mean, it's just not sportmanlike is it? :)
ReplyDeleteI liked the voice as well. I think some of what spoke to me was the way the narrator seems to know the future. Like how this pairs with SteveG's flash.
ReplyDeleteI'd be like, "Um... <_<"
ReplyDeleteShady.
very plausible. nice assembly; no names or dialogue attribution. I can almost see the fat fingers waving a cigar while talking.
ReplyDeleteHow fiendishly of them and clever - nothing like getting an action plan in place eh!
ReplyDeleteBrilliantly controlled, brilliantly told, brilliantly funny. Loved it.
ReplyDeletePS "pulled" is an English term for picking up a member of the opposite sex. (the person being pulled really really fancying the "puller"!)
Over here in Australia, we are wrapping up the football season in all codes (league, union and Australian rules). Seems some ideas about sport are universal.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
How underhanded! Great voice, so silky and plausible. I wouldn't be surprised if this wouldn't make some back door strategists for the teams squirm a bit.
ReplyDeleteTake care,
JC
I'm always suspicious of charges ... at least until there's some absolute proof. So often there isn't and someone's rep is destroyed by innuendo and rumor. (Innuendo & Rumor LLP Attorneys at Law! :) jk) Yes, I'm paranoid. :)
ReplyDeleteAh, seduction and presumed guilt, good stuff. Probably more effective than the old Tonya Harding / Nancy Kerrigan thing when you pay someone to bust the guy's kneecap.
ReplyDelete