Saturday, June 2, 2012

Dig In, Redux

“I am so tired of that apt criticism. Yes, this Applebee’s is like all of the others. The hamburger is prepared the same way with the same patented and publicly disclosed secret sauce. The calorie content of every platter is the same in Texas and Maine. The employees here wash their hands as often as they do in Alaska – if there is an Applebee’s in Alaska. From Seattle, Washington to Washington, D.C., we’re all mandated to have crazy crap on the walls, so that while each array is unique, they all feel the same. The building feels almost identical to Chili’s, which feels almost identical to Friendly’s. And for some reason you feel the right to condemn us, as though homogeneity was our problem. The problem lies in a society so twisted and uncomforting that when people don’t want to cook for themselves, when they decide they want a night away from their homes and normal lives, they go to a franchise that they’re sure will be just like every other one they’ve ever visited. How mean-spirited, how rude and insensitive, how untrustworthy must the rest of the world be if you look to letting strangers serve you food for familiarity? With all the delicacies and rare cuisines available, dinner is where you come not to be challenged? Then you must come from a sick world. But if my chicken tenders will heal you, then let me lay my hands on your plastic. We take Discover.”

7 comments:

  1. There's an Applebee's in Barrie, Ontario! And i've actually been there! For me, it was a unique experience because it was the one and only time I'd ever been!!!
    Nice observation, John.

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    1. They are likely more common in my New Yorkish corner of the U.S., Cathy. A lot of people can't stand them. Lucky me, they always serve good fries.

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  2. For some reason I had the Team America theme song playing in my head as I read this one. Nice observation.

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    1. I can see the speaker enjoying satire that despises America. Also, self-righteous anthems.

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  3. You make some pretty good points here: the problem isn't generica, it's those who insist on it.

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  4. Well we don't have an Applebee's so I have no idea what you're talking about, but it sounded good. ^__^

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  5. There's an entire essay on risk-aversion lurking behind this. People are so afraid that they'll go to an unknown restaurant and "waste" $20 on a poor meal that they will go someplace completely familiar to be sure they'll get a meal they can count on.

    It's a pity they don't regard that $20 as a small price to pay for having a new experience, one that could push back the boundaries of one's cultural horizon instead of simply reinforcing the barricades.

    When you have a bad meal, it forces you to ask the question, why was it bad? In what way did it deviate from the acceptable or even from the ideal? This in turn makes you think about what is acceptable, what is ideal, and where the line between them should be drawn. In contrast, when you go to Applebee's, TGIF, Chili's, etc., you don't have to think about anything at all.

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