Saturday, August 11, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: "Mech Fighting" Added to Olympics


In what was either a legitimation of Rock-Em Sock-Em Robots or a robust embrace of the late Richard Matheson, this week the Olympic Committee announced that in addition to Sevens Rugby and Golf, “Mech Fighting” will be added to the 2016 Olympic Games in Brazil.

Grappling between human-piloted titanic machines has been popular for so long as they’ve been built, and truly before that, for as long as people could draw them into cartoons. With international standardized rules requiring all models feature butts they can be knocked onto, medical tests proving it was less hazardous to the health than Judo, and the overwhelming number of appeals from fans, the Olympic committee simply couldn’t keep it out, especially not if they wanted to keep Equestrian.

Still, Mech Fighting has its detractors. Some claim it will be too easy a competition to medal in, given how expensive a proper mechanized unit can be. Only a select few first-world nations can afford to build “medal gear.

6 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Why, my friend, that's the Matheson connection!

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  2. Mech fighting sounds much better than the synchronized swimming I was forced to watch in the dentist's office yesterday. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, god. I was with you until the last two words. I need to go lie down...

    Still, good show.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the entire piece was designed to set up those last two words. It was a Konami Code all along.

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